Thursday, January 19, 2012


Apologies to the millions of avid readers who have been breathlessly awaiting this moment, but I have been somewhat occupied in the past month. Several tasks contributed to this state of occupation - the most notable being my attempt at mastering the one handed push-up. For those of you who aren't quite sure what this is, prostrate yourself on the ground, shove an arm dead in front of your nose and let the other one dangle limply by your side. Then push for all you are worth, making sure not to let the mid-riff lag or the spirits sag. Either one of these will cause you to end up with a premature slipped disc, a malady that  one of my fifth cousins regularly suffers from.
However when you achieve complete control of your buttocks and their  corresponding frontals you will experience the joyous sensation having executed the one handed push up. Your arm will experience tremendous pain and you will be unable to shake hands with a German woman for a week.

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