I, Lord Leroy

Most humans know me as the laptop that belongs to Andrew; you however, may call me Lord Leroy.
I am not in the most pristine condition. My screen is a murky grey colour and has lip shaped sediment on its left. My body has a curious set of colour schemes that have morphed over time - schemes that change with the mood of my owner.

Today, I act as a representative of my kind; a kind whose technological position has been usurped by a pretentious little usurper: the smartphone.
I am told that they come with fancier and pansier technology nowadays : 8 cores, HD resolution, skinny profiles and Chimpanzee glass.  You can stamp them and throw them into large water bodies. They have Chinese women hidden inside their being; talkative creatures who try to answer questions that have not been asked.
My kind, on the other hand, seems to be stuck. We've been hovering on 2-4 four cores for some time, our resolutions haven't changed in a decade and the only interaction we have with women is when they press the 'Escape' key and hope for the mess they've created to vanish. Worse, Bill Gates wants to integrate us with our preposterous rivals and give us the fruity name 'Surface'.

Let Lord Leroy, therefore, remind you humans of how much we are in command of your lives.
We control the best and worst of you. I shall deal, specifically with the best of you : the geek, the doctor and the MBA. The worst of you, the financially free (see the one and only figure) will occupy another post.

Every day, millions of geeks around the world stare at us for most of their waking hours.  Most geeks are intelligent, they are aware of the fact that it's far more comfortable and far healthier to sit at a desktop. Yet, they brave twisted neck knots, stiff backs and numb fingers resulting from five plus hours spent crouched over one of us. Testimony to the fact that we control the geek, but convince him that he controls us.

Side note : Observe the back of Andrew's oversized head. You will notice a concave dent at the base of the skull. This is the result of browsing the web furiously or watching videos on yours truly while resting the skull on a headboard or sofa arm. 
While Andrew belongs to the above category, this concave head phenomenon is also spreading to the smaller headed, prone-to-facebook-photo-sharing population as well.

Consider that ubiquitous entity, the MBA student: especially the variety that India produces. These boys (and girls) would tear their ridiculous suit coats and spit foam at their group discussions if we decide to strike. Can you imagine an Indian MBA preparing a marketing presentation without the use of  Google? Naw. And don't dare bring up the possibility of the imposter devices serving in our stead ... Let them first learn to render a web page properly.

Doctors were always sitting ducks. They never could write with a pen.

(Love) Marriage vs Arranged Marriage

vs

In the majority of Western society the latter phrase is archaic. Quite simply, arranged marriages have died a natural death - the idea of the families deciding the fate of a young couple was one of the casualties of 20th century culture.
Yet in India, a society as diverse and interesting as the entire Western civilization, arranged marriages still have their place. This is to be seen not only in the primitive backwaters of Uttar Pradesh and Bihar but in the metropoli - places like Delhi, Bangalore and our own Bombay.
South Bombay and Bandra are two of the most westernised localities in the world. Take a jog in Jogger's Park or watch a film in Sterling and you'll understand what I mean. The clothes, the accent , the choice of words, the outlook, the atmosphere - it's all western. Yet the prevalence of this one idea - that of the arranged marriage - is a solid reminder of the fact that you are very much in India. The richest and best exposed part of our society largely still chooses to treat marriage as a journey for two families - it is to be expected that the rest of society finds no cause to change either.
There is a slight difference in the way it is executed now. The marriage itself is not arranged; rather, a meeting between couples is arranged and the two young people are given some time to get to know each other. The families already approve, so it is like a family sanctioned courtship. If the couple decides that they are meant for each other, the next step is taken and they get engaged. If they decide that they are not, they meet some opposition from their respective families for making up the mind too hastily, and are asked(forced) to give it another try. If they are still adamant, the courtship will cease and the next family on the applicants' list will come up for interview. All quite businesslike and smooth.
While I don't have too many issues with this modus operandi and I admit that love can be found in such a situation, I must state that it puts a lot of pressure on the two individuals involved. For them, it is quite suffocating ; some of them could end up getting pushed into a marriage they don't really want simply because they are tired of the whole process. This approach also views marriage as an event - one that needs to be got out of the way at a particular time in life. If one were to draw an analogy, it would be
BRUSHING TEETH : DAY      just like         GETTING MARRIED: LIFETIME
And I have an issue with this outlook as well. Human beings are complex creatures - indeed some may be ready for marriage at 20 while others may not be till 40. Our characters and personalities are vastly different and depending on what else we do with our life, marriage may or may not be welcome. In this sense, a more realistic analogy for a day is having a shower: an activity that varies depending on when we exercise or when and where we travel, unlike our first brush of the teeth which is almost always around breakfast time. Which is why a good social life and healthy interaction with the opposite sex is all parents should desire for their grown up children. The 'm' word should not even enter into the picture.
So, to answer the very Indian question posted by the title of the blog: Love marriage or arranged marriage = Love marriage.
Despite this, I'm not a fellow to deprive a family of indulging their love for arranging. My family is welcome to arrange my wedding reception.


[Images courtesy British FCO home and The World As I See]